God I'm tired. I don't know how I'm going to survive on exam day tbh, I'm going to have to gun down a large coffee before I get to uni or I'll probably fall asleep right then and there. I've been having heaps of trouble studying because I struggle to study by myself, I always need someone I know with me - obviously someone that won't be talking all the time, but that kind of company makes me feel more, I don't know, motivated to study. My original study group is a bust because two out of the four dropped out of their courses so they don't have to do anything right now and the last person is a very busy man that has lots of other people to study with.
I was feeling a little worried yesterday, Tom was going to have a "goodbye" party to his apartment and I was so excited to go but then he told me the day before that they're moving the date, but on the FB event page there was no change, so I'm being super paranoid and think maybe he just told me that it's changed because of this whole Isla thing, I don't know EUGH.
I had a really nice realisation yesterday that I'm actually quite close to a workmate called Grace, because we generally do Friday closing shifts together and since Fridays can get boring, we talk a lot about what's been happening in our lives and stuff and it's actually been really good because we have similar problems sometimes.
This is all kind of a strange ramble because I didn't post yesterday so right now I'm combining both days even though today has barely started. I definitely need to finish this can of Red Bull, it's going to be a long day.
190614-2224
It seems like today is all about best friends. I have two best friends - one I've mentioned before, Poppy, and the other is a guy called Tom.
There is always huge complications when there are two best friends of opposite genders, but it comes even more complicated once they have significant others. Tom and I never had real feelings for each other, I mean, when we first met we were attracted to each other but there was never anything much beyond that other than admiration.
Tom fell in love as soon as he met Isla, and their love is epic and great, a story that can be a part of a movie, but as soon as they became an item, as soon as Isla realised that she loved him too, the friendship Tom and I built started to fall.
It's been a slow process, but we have been best friends for over four years, and they have been together for over three, yet she still cannot trust either Tom or I together. Even though I myself have been in a relationship with Hunter, whom I love with all my heart, for over three years as well, she still can't accept Tom and I as just friends. It's complicated, and frustrating because Tom is one of the only people that I truly be myself and talk about anything that comes to my mind whether that be venting, ranting, or general queries and he has never been afraid to answer back truthfully. But ever since uni began, we've been even further apart, and although I constantly ask him if he's free to hang, he never does the same to me when he's free. It happens every now and then, but not enough. I thought by now Isla was comfortable with Tom and my friendship, but I guess I was wrong as he told me today.
I don't know what this means for us. It could very well be the end of this fantastic friendship that I will always regret not fighting for, or it could be a minor bump on the road of the friendship that will last forever, I don't know.
There is always huge complications when there are two best friends of opposite genders, but it comes even more complicated once they have significant others. Tom and I never had real feelings for each other, I mean, when we first met we were attracted to each other but there was never anything much beyond that other than admiration.
Tom fell in love as soon as he met Isla, and their love is epic and great, a story that can be a part of a movie, but as soon as they became an item, as soon as Isla realised that she loved him too, the friendship Tom and I built started to fall.
It's been a slow process, but we have been best friends for over four years, and they have been together for over three, yet she still cannot trust either Tom or I together. Even though I myself have been in a relationship with Hunter, whom I love with all my heart, for over three years as well, she still can't accept Tom and I as just friends. It's complicated, and frustrating because Tom is one of the only people that I truly be myself and talk about anything that comes to my mind whether that be venting, ranting, or general queries and he has never been afraid to answer back truthfully. But ever since uni began, we've been even further apart, and although I constantly ask him if he's free to hang, he never does the same to me when he's free. It happens every now and then, but not enough. I thought by now Isla was comfortable with Tom and my friendship, but I guess I was wrong as he told me today.
I don't know what this means for us. It could very well be the end of this fantastic friendship that I will always regret not fighting for, or it could be a minor bump on the road of the friendship that will last forever, I don't know.
180614-2352
So you may be wondering why I haven't written in my beauty blog for awhile. It's actually quite simple, I cannot be bothered taking and editing photos for it. It takes way too much effort when I just want to get the information out there! I was really passionate about it for awhile but right now it isn't a big priority anymore. I'm a busy person, having uni, God, Hunter, and friends takes a lot out of me. I'm actually glad no TV shows are on right now because I would be so behind, and I'm really pedantic about being up to date with TV shows.
I never expected uni to be this difficult. It is really quite hard and demanding. You have to be highly organised and efficient. The only upside is that education is no longer a competition with the ones around you but you just need to pass your course. Although, I do want to be a really good speech pathologist, I'm much better at learning on the job than reading a textbook and taking an exam about it. So studying for exams is draining, but not as stressful as high school because I know what exactly is going to be in the exam for A&P. L&P might be a little different. Between 240614 and 030714, I might be a little mental-breakdown-y.
I'm taking a day off from studying tomorrow though, which is good. I get to see Hunter and later on I get to see Poppy and Austin for dinner.
Enough rambles for today
- Harken Nitrate
I never expected uni to be this difficult. It is really quite hard and demanding. You have to be highly organised and efficient. The only upside is that education is no longer a competition with the ones around you but you just need to pass your course. Although, I do want to be a really good speech pathologist, I'm much better at learning on the job than reading a textbook and taking an exam about it. So studying for exams is draining, but not as stressful as high school because I know what exactly is going to be in the exam for A&P. L&P might be a little different. Between 240614 and 030714, I might be a little mental-breakdown-y.
I'm taking a day off from studying tomorrow though, which is good. I get to see Hunter and later on I get to see Poppy and Austin for dinner.
Enough rambles for today
- Harken Nitrate
170614
Oh no, Harken has a new blog. How long is this going to last for?
I guess this is just a huge way to procrastinate because here I am at the hub needing to study for an exam that is in 7 days yet I can no longer pick up my book to read and write notes.
This is just for little rambles every now and then. It might be of my day, to vent, or to talk about God. I'm not really sure about the purpose of this blog, but hopefully it'll unveil itself in due time.
I guess this is just a huge way to procrastinate because here I am at the hub needing to study for an exam that is in 7 days yet I can no longer pick up my book to read and write notes.
This is just for little rambles every now and then. It might be of my day, to vent, or to talk about God. I'm not really sure about the purpose of this blog, but hopefully it'll unveil itself in due time.
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